So my first fourth step was over 21 years ago. I was just a kid. I did the best that I could and was honest as I could possibly be with my sponsor and God.
I’m doing another one.
Looking back it is pretty clear that the obsession to drink was lifted not too long after doing the fifth step with my sponsor. It is clear to me now that I have more character defects that I want my Higher Power to remove. I’ve been struggling to remove some of them myself and it occurred to me that I couldn’t white knuckle through giving up alcohol. I’m not going to be able to white knuckle through my character defects either.
For as smart as I think I am I have a hard time following basic instructions.