Archive for July, 2010

Injustice

I’m on the edge of being one of those road rage guys. The number one offender is tailgaters. They piss me off more than any other driver. What makes me realize I am the one with the problem is that my mind immediately comes up with ways to get back at them without a full confrontation. Things like drive over gravel on the side of the road and kick it up onto their car or slow down to the speed limit and come to complete stops at all red lights and stop signs.

I don’t do those things anymore but the thoughts still come to mind. Why do I get so mad over all the injustices I see in the world?

I think part of it may be fear. I think I get more mad about things when I am going through things in life I have no control over.

5th of July

I have to face every fear. I can run away from it for a while. I can avoid it but if I want to remain sober and sane I must face every fear.

Ever wake up in the morning to go to work and the first thought in your head is “Fuck I really don’t want to go to work today”? Welcome to my world when I am living in fear.

My next thought is God please get me through this day to do the best that I can despite what I am afraid to face.

The fear is a reminder of the problem, the problem is really a gift in disguise. It is amazing how my whole world changes when I successfully face and live though something I was so afraid of.