I remember the angry years for me in recovery. It is still surprizing to me that my husband didn’t choose to leave during that time. I have been blessed with a marriage of 37 years. I don’t know if I would have stayed through all of those years if I had been on the receiving end of my anger. My husband is not a saint. He is a loving, patient (very, very patint) man. I have been very blessed by having him at my side though all of these years. I think having a sense of humor worked for both of us.

The laughter is one of the best things that I like about Al-Anon. Sure you see tears but you also hear laughter. They helped me to see how angry I was and told me not to take that anger out on my husband and kids. They helped me to see that I was angry at my abusers. I am also an incest survivor. I was most of all angry at myself. I had to learn to love myself. Like you, I have come to be grateful for my childhood years and the strength and compassion that I gained through my experiences. Without the incest and family disease of alcoholism, I would not be the person that I am today. I can honestly say that I like and love myself today.

I stopped going to meetings for close to 10 years. A friend asked me to go to Al-Anon meetings with her. She was afraid to go by herself. We have been going off and on for about a year now. I didn’t realize how much it would still help me to live a better life.

My dad and grandfather were both alcoholics. I would be if I ever started to drink. My fears from my childhood and knowing that I have that alcoholic gene are why I only rarely have a social drink. I don’t want to take the chance that alcohol could also destroy my life like it did that of my dad and grandfather. They both drank until the day that they died.

Congratulations to you for your time in recovery. Thanks for visiting my blog. I will be back to read more about your journey through life. Keep telling others how happy you are in recovery. That is the place most of us want to be. The people that can’t relate sure do want to be there too.

As I have posted my life is really good, despite any of the whining I may do about it. When I go to meetings, and listen, there is no doubt in my mind that I am still an alcoholic after all these years. Just one drink and all that I have and all that I am could be gone.

I also go because I’ve gone to meetings before where the only two people who showed up were me and a new comer. I’d hate to think of what would have happened to me if I showed up for my first meeting and no one was there.

Isolation is a big trigger for depression for me. Meetings really take the edge off of isolating.

I never stop learning in AA. Good and bad. I always seem to hear something that I need to.

AA really changed the relationship I have with my Higher Power. I feel a strong attachment to meetings because of that.

Funny how attitude is everything. While I spent my first ten years on sobriety blaming much of what went wrong in my life on family (and lack thereof), today all I can see is how much stronger I am than most people, how much more drive and ambition I have than most people, how much more LOVING I want to be than my Mother was.

Then again, I am not a parent. However, I am a grateful member of AA, and I like your writing.

Best,

COG, 1t Cl.

But, I get it anyways. Have fun with your jam!